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captainslutdrop:

krazykitsune:

uncle-jessie:

facebook does not appreciate me

it’s okay we appreciate you here

does nobody else see the ‘facebook’ pun here???

(Source: frodbaggins, via officialfrenchtoast)

thegrayfox:

alright

(via arlothia)

meistens:

snapchatting:

what if there were professional text post critics

Rating: 

Witty and insightful. A must-reblog post. Suspense from lack of punctuation and resolution leaves the reader pondering possibilities late into the night.

(Source: snapchatting, via sobeconcerned)

z-o-l-a:

My dad gave our 2 month old English bulldog puppy a taste of strawberry Popsicle today. This is true happiness.

(via infatuatedness)

shortielittle:

tradingwishesforgoals:

Cool :)

When firefighters get bored…

(Source: onlylolgifs, via infatuatedness)

justplainsomething:

totaleclipseofthedick:

I love the bond that forms between students in an awful class

http://25.media.tumblr.com/cc30e79c49bd2ceeb8f4678f24338e12/tumblr_mvlmt4OOZr1robby5o1_500.jpg

(via arlothia)

You all know, of course, that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago - the precise date is uncertain - by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age. They built this castle together, far from prying Muggle eyes, for it was an age when magic was feared by common people, and witches and wizards suffered much persecution.

(Source: mydraco, via the-east-wind-cometh)

anothermindpalace:

sir-mycroft:

I think it’s appropriate to bring this little gem back today.

THIS. Yes. This is by far the only time a major show did not make fun of the fans. Bless this.

(Source: niledawks, via sherlock-pepe)

Why does Chris Evans always grab his left boob when he laughs?

Asked by Anonymous

officialchelso:

Hello, anon, and thank you for the question.

This topic has been studied by by researchers for years. There are three prevailing theories that I will relay to you now.

1. It keeps him on the ground.

image

You may notice in the gif above that Chris’ leg starts to rise as he laughs, possibly a precursor to his entire body undergoing a sort of lift off due to his joy. Chris then employs his upper body strength to force himself to obey the laws of gravity.

2. To check on his physique.

image

As you may be aware, anon, it takes a lot of hard work to maintain a superhero body. Chris is concerned that in the time he has spent sitting down, sans working out or eating, he has lost muscle mass. Understandably, he feels the need to make sure that he is still a specimen.

3. Object permanence.

image

Object permanence is a term applied to the understanding that an object still exists even when you cannot see it. Chris closes his eyes when he laughs, making him unable to see that he has not disappeared. By grabbing his left boob, Chris knows that he has not somehow ceased to exist.

I hope this helps.

I FIGURED OUT THE ONE THING THE SUPERNATURAL FANDOM DOESN’T HAVE A GIF FOR

iniquitysoneoftheperks:

cardiffwaless:

THEIR OTP KISSING

image

(via rucbarwhovian)

(Source: badwollf, via rucbarwhovian)

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad: Fuck the government.
Dad: Fuck the school board.
Dad: Close the door.
Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad: I love puns.
Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad: Please shut up.
Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad: They act like I care what they think.
Dad: I hate homework.
Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

(Source: topseries, via dapperzack)